sentiment

I don't feel unlike someone has placed my head upon a t-ball stand and is taking consecutive powerful swings. Overload. Such a change of pace from this past year in Europe, when comically little was expected of me. Now I am being pulled in 23423 different directions. Guess I'm just not used to it. And I still can't get myself to the point I was at freshman year, for instance, when I was so absorbed in everything completely and unfortunately. Now I can def still be sure to make time with the roommates to do mindless shit like watch Gossip Girl and make fun of Momence.

This past weekend Ana, Dad's cousin, told me I am like her, the kind of person who needs to see instant results to feel any kind of satisfaction in what I do. This makes me realize why I decided that this summer's internship at ILP was definitely not the kind of thing for me— because I felt useless. But this weekend I found out that one of the grants I had applied for with Bank of American was approved! Not a huge amount but when it's a nonprofit whose annual budget is like 200 grand every little bit counts. I feel like I actually did something tangible for them. Any future in nonprofits? nooo gracias still