Why are you so special

So I got to thinking today about the concept of privileges. Essentially a very good thing. But with discussion of privilege inevitably necessitates examination of its slightly more negative counterpart — entitlement. Which, I suppose, is exactly what I and many like me feel. To everything. I feel entitled to a fat discount on my new phone because [obviously] I have been toting my [perfectly usable] Chocolate phone for more than two years and am naturally due for a new device. I feel entitled to a good education, to answers right now, to no wait, to, thanks to On Demand, exactly what I want on TV and when, to comfort, to attention, to happiness. And I get all of these things usually.

Why in the world am I entitled to any of this? I can honestly say I have always worked hard, but let's face it, this life is pretty easy. Everything has come exactly when I wanted, and if not, I make it happen. Whether that means doing it myself or having my parents help me. I need someone to slap me across the face —hard— so maybe I might understand I don't deserve anything. I should have to show up to court for that speeding ticket. Things always conveniently work themselves out for me, however. Why do I get to have an attorney, conveniently a friend of dad's and already in court that day, represent me? The stars have aligned on my behalf on basically every big occasion, and looking back, I don't think I should have been given any of it. I used to think of myself as relatively weathered and, at least, strong. Maybe I am. But I still deep down have this embarrassing feeling of deserving everything I want or think I need, and consequently of getting immaturely pissed off if I don't get it right away.

In need of another reality check.

I want to go back to Europe.